… and other nonsense

  • Some other odds and ends to cover. If I hurry through this, I can get upstairs in time to … well, waste the rest of my Sun­day evening, I suppose.

    • I’m chick­en­ing out — I had men­tioned that I would be giv­ing away a lot of Ortho­dox books that I came by. I’m still going to do that, but I’ve become aware of some peo­ple at a mis­sion church who are look­ing to start a library and so I’m going to box up the lot and send them off to them. Orig­i­nally, I was going to blog the entire list and let every­one tell me what they wanted. But this way is much less oner­ous of a chore, and when you’re a lazy lout like me, that’s impor­tant. So apolo­gies given (and prayers for my heal­ing from lazi­ness are welcomed).
    • Jan’s got the con­tender for the World’s Worst New Icon con­test (be pre­pared to be amazed – HERE) and I didn’t even know there was one. I’d like to think that this is just a lit­tle prank of The Onion Dome, but I kinda doubt it.
    • Speak­ing of The Onion Dome, when I linked over to them, I got caught up in the lat­est fun, this hilar­ity over the parish coun­cil meet­ing that wouldn’t end (link HERE). (In case any­one doesn’t know, The Onion Dome’s “arti­cles” are all spoofs, not real — just some fun about the sub­lime and ridicu­lous to be found in liv­ing Ortho­dox):

      By the time the com­mit­tee heads and min­is­ters began their reports, the meet­ing had gone into its third hour. [new trans­plant] Wen­tholme wanted to know if the parish stew­ard­ship com­mit­tee shopped at Wal-Mart, how the parish min­istry com­mit­tee would han­dle a hypo­thet­i­cal sit­u­a­tion of a preg­nant abuse vic­tim within the parish, how the choir direc­tor reached his deci­sion about how much Byzan­tine chant to use in any given Sunday.

      I’m glad to say I don’t know parish coun­cil meet­ings like that first-hand, but I’ve heard about them. And when I got to the bot­tom of the arti­cle, lo and behold, it was cour­tesy of Ms. World of Spec­u­la­tion her­self. Well, small world!

    • Finally thought of a New Year’s Res­o­lu­tion, and it’s a real cliche, but what the heck. So there are boxes of NutriSys­tem food that I start in on tomor­row. My food choices have been so bad for so long that I’m just going to be relieved not to be mak­ing many. I’ve been on so many diets that I know exactly what stages you go through:
      Begin­ning — this is new, it’s inter­est­ing, I’m tak­ing con­trol, I’m a good per­son
      Anti-beginning — this isn’t new any­more, I want a fig new­ton, I’m not that good a per­son
      Recov­ery — hey, I made it through the fig new­ton cri­sis. Let me start read­ing inspi­ra­tional pam­phlets. I should tell other peo­ple about this nifty diet.
      Anti-recovery — hm, I’m kind of bored. It sure is great to find out that I’m doing so good on my diet that I can have half a candy bar. I think I’ll cal­cu­late how long I’ll be on this diet and put up a cal­en­dar
      Eupho­ria – Omigosh! I have now lost SO much weight and I am SUCH a good per­son. I’m going to be a spokes­woman for this diet in com­mer­cials. I am not hav­ing ANY prob­lems los­ing weight and I feel GREAT. I’m going to start rehears­ing my com­mer­cial right now. I am not wor­ried in any way over the upcom­ing din­ner out. I have cal­cu­lated exactly what I’m going to eat and writ­ten it down on color-coded post-its. I am in total con­trol and I’m a diet god­dess!
      Coma — [two months gone for­ever from your life]
      Hang­over — Where am I? Why am I wear­ing a bean­bag chair around my waist? Wasn’t I on a diet or some­thing? Who ate all the Magic Shell? Boy, I suck.And I’ve got it down to where I can run through the whole thing in about four days. Sooo, time to try some­thing dif­fer­ent. That ought to slow that wagon train down a lit­tle. If it doesn’t, I may have to throw myself under it.

    I think that’s about it. I didn’t end up hav­ing much left of my Sun­day evening to watch. But in the time I’ve been writ­ing this, I have:

    1. watched a lit­tle of “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” until I remem­bered that it’s the bleak­est movie ever made
    2. scanned Yahoo News to make sure the world hadn’t ended — it hadn’t, but Cindy Shee­han has gone to Cuba to try to find out where the last 12 sec­onds of her fif­teen min­utes of fame has gone.
    3. watched “Napoleon Dyna­mite” up until the big dance scene. Made me want tater tots.

    So I ended up wast­ing my evening AND fin­ish­ing my blog post. I don’t know if that can­cels out or not.


    Related posts:

    1. Decem­ber 20

    January 7th, 2007 | Grace | 7 Comments |

7 Responses and Counting...

  • Jan Bear 01.07.2007

    Thanks, Grace. About the icon, I think the folks who are sell­ing it think it’s real.

    About the Onion Dome. It’s all true. Or mostly true. Or it feels true.

    Just to clear up the record on that.

    Jan B.

  • Grace

    I would think it would be very cathar­tic to write those pieces. Any­way, I hope so because they’re a total crack-up to read.

  • s-p

    Yes the icon is real. I saw one. The parish coun­cil meet­ing… OK… who for­warded the min­utes of our last meet­ing to Jan Bear??? :)

  • Grace

    All right, I just couldn’t leave it alone. I had to fol­low Jan’s link back to the source HERE and find out what they had to say for them­selves. I really don’t want to rip the guys, because I’m sure they do a lot of good work, but the descrip­tion of the icon fills two screens! And here’s just a tid­bit detail­ing all the bad guys tak­ing aim at the good guys in the boat:

    Next to him is one exam­ple, the Emperor Leo the Icon­o­clast, who has a spear in his hand, ready to throw it at the Ark, …

    Next to him is Luther, with a rifle, ready to shoot. …

    Next to him is Lenin, with his Russ­ian pis­tol care­fully aimed at the heart of Christ. …

    Next to him on the bot­tom right side is a great beast, with an open mouth, and in his mouth is Mohammed with his tumor on his back,…

    And on and on. Sur­prised they left out Typhoid Mary and the cast of “Bewitched”.

  • Jan Bear

    Not to men­tion the entire char­ac­ter list of Harry Potter.

    BTW, Grace, if you — or any­one — get inspired to write for the Onion Dome, our intre­pid edi­tor has been known to take free­lance submissions.

  • s-p

    Speak­ing of diets… did you see Dil­bert (I think it was Sat­ur­day) where Dog­bert is the pointy haired boss’s diet coun­selor?
    PHB “You are sup­posed to moti­vate me“
    Dog­bert “If you eat I’ll kill you“
    PHB “Do I get a last meal?” :) 40x

  • Mimi

    I am friends with the Intre­prid Edi­tor and his lovely wife, that should count for something…that and a dol­lar will get me a cup of cof­fee, I’m sure.

    And, now I want tatertots.

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