Another wedding, another mystery

  • As I said, it seems to be my sea­son for wed­dings. Another time to see a girl you knew as part of a fam­ily become a young woman as part of a couple.

    It is still some­thing that defies expla­na­tion. Of all the mys­ter­ies of the Church, this may be the only one where the world agrees with us. But roman­tic imagery is sud­denly star­ing out at us from the shelves of every store as that “sea­sonal” retail space quickly gets retooled for Valentine’s Day before the Christ­mas items have even left the clear­ance shelves. So we cer­tainly have ample oppor­tu­nity to com­pare the world’s ver­sion of roman­tic love with the Church’s.
    sleepless.jpgLast night at the hotel, Greg and I unwound by watch­ing “Sleep­less in Seat­tle” for the umpteenth time. I put­tered about in the lit­tle kitch­enette, try­ing to fig­ure out how to make tea in a saucepan. Greg fid­dled about on the com­puter. And on the set, Sam and Jonah even­tu­ally met up with Annie at the top of the Empire State Building.

    It’s a great movie, really. It makes you believe that some film-people actu­ally get it, at least occa­sion­ally. The atten­tion of Hol­ly­wood seems per­ma­nently fixed on dys­func­tional rela­tion­ships. And it’s not like there aren’t a lot of sto­ries to tell there. But some­times, just some­times, things … work. I’ve been to two such wed­dings recently — two times when the Church brought together a man and woman and made them hus­band and wife. And from those wed­dings came two cou­ples of the sort that the world des­per­ately needs right now, with many oth­ers on the periph­ery to cel­e­brate their union.

    It doesn’t always work. I’ve seen cou­ples that couldn’t make it. I’ve seen some that have to work at it all the time. But what can you say about that? Should we aban­don ship because some peo­ple get sea­sick? Or, maybe more to the point, should we do away with all the life pre­servers because some peo­ple drown even when they’re wear­ing them?

    It might actu­ally be more alarm­ing how things look when the world chooses to smile approv­ingly. As I said, “Sleep­less in Seat­tle” is a good movie, but the ads they showed in between seg­ments seemed geared toward tak­ing any romantically-inclined view­ers and wring­ing atten­tion out of them. There were con­stant com­mer­cials and sneak peeks for another real­ity show on the “Bach­e­lor” theme. One sin­gle dad, 25 good-looking women. Dad has to go on fab­u­lous dates with all 25 and pick the win­ner to be his soul-mate and the step­mother to his child.

    I don’t get the appeal of real­ity shows, bent as they are on pass­ing sur­real sit­u­a­tions off as if they were nor­mal. Where is the ‘real­ity’ in a set-up like this? Are ANY of the peo­ple involved sup­posed to be act­ing nat­u­rally, since they know that the cam­eras are rolling and that their 15 min­utes of fame — not to men­tion the show’s rat­ings — depend on mak­ing their behav­ior into ‘must-see TV’? And what if none of the 25 bim­bos, sorry, young ladies is the one? And if you’re this dad’s son, do you get a vote in who Dad is let­ting into your family?

    So the chan­nel that chose to show “Sleep­less in Seat­tle” as a late hol­i­day tes­ta­ment to the magic that hap­pens between a man and a woman is also ham­fist­edly ply­ing a real­ity show that begs you to believe that a fab­ri­cated sit­u­a­tion both unwhole­some and unsub­tle will allow you to see that magic hap­pen before your very eyes.

    It’s pathetic. And, for the many young men and women who haven’t had a chance to find out for them­selves, it’s a crime. More and more peo­ple are taught by films and movies that roman­tic love is the only thing that isn’t hor­ri­ble about our exis­tence, but also that it is so nearly impos­si­ble that you just have to start prac­tic­ing when you’re eight or nine and keep hook­ing up with every­one you can just to increase your odds. So many women have bought into that twisted view of things that ‘The Bach­e­lor’ can high­light the hilar­i­ous hijinx of twenty-five of them com­pet­ing for one guy.

    So who will win in the long run — the real love sacra­men­tal­ized in wed­dings, or the sur­real fak­ery that hap­pens in a cul­ture bent on its own destruc­tion? It depends on which we favor, I sup­pose, and which have the greater numbers.

    As always, I’m pulling for the good guys.


    Related posts:

    1. Beast and the Beauty
    2. 8 things about me
    3. 300
    4. And speak­ing of Harry Potter …
    5. The pain of peo­ple who are a pain

    January 5th, 2009 | Grace | 4 Comments |

4 Responses and Counting...

  • Mimi 01.05.2009

    I know it is hor­ri­ble the way that casual atti­tudes towards dat­ing and inti­macy fill the air­waves like that, and with a child involved, ay yi yi.

    But, I know that I am amaz­ingly blessed by my hus­band, even when we are in a patch were we are work­ing at mar­riage a lot.

  • s-p

    sigh…this makes me glad I don’t watch TV. I always won­der WHAT real­ity “real­ity shows” are about.

  • Grace

    s-p:
    You got me. I’ve never felt com­pelled to watch any of them. I’d like to re-label the genre “Peo­ple Act­ing like Jerks, Idiots and Mani­acs.” And I can go out into com­muter traf­fic and see that, so why sit through the ads? ;-)

  • Erica Rea­gan

    Actu­ally I have watched two sea­sons of the Bach­e­lor. Mostly as aguilty plea­sure. I found it ridicu­lous about how they con­ducted them­selves in rela­tion­ships. Tak­ing them­selves so dang seri­ously putting on such airs feel­ing like the magic they are expe­ri­enc­ing with SEVERAL dif­fer­ent part­ners is REAL and not just a hoax. out of ALL eleven sea­sons (or so) there has been one cou­ple that stayed together.

    It’s ridicu­lous and demean­ing to the peo­ple you are dat­ing. And also puts the Bach­e­lor in a posi­tion where he doesn’t have to be that great of a per­son. It’s about the CHASE. If a girl demands more respect she gets offed.

    Per­son­ally, I find all of the girls (and guys) who par­tic­i­pate ridiculous.

    Also, after being in a rela­tion­ship with mutual respect and admi­ra­tion. I KNOW my man isn’t “try­ing out” other women because he can. He com­mit­ted to me from the begin­ning. I find it rather depress­ing that they are will­ing to set­tle for a jerk.

    The Bachelor’s aren’t eli­gi­ble. They’re jerks.

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